You might be thinking that is a typo and I actually wanted to quote the song by Baha Men, Who Let the Dogs Out? It is a catchy tune, but no, on my morning run today I really asked myself “Who let those cows out?!!”
In a strange twist of fate that could never have been predicted, I find myself in the small village of New Franken, which is a…. suburb, maybe, of Green Bay, Wisconsin. It is largely rural around here and it is Wisconsin, America’s dairy land, so there are always a lot of cows. BUT there has never been a stampede of cows wandering down the main road, which I run along. And yet today there was. Which left me to wonder, “what in the heck?” and “who let the cows out?” and “did they let themselves out?" They appeared to be unaccompanied, which seemed odd. What is the correct procedure when facing a herd of cows while on your morning run? I was not sure.
Luckily, as I pondered this two pick-ups came down the road in opposite directions. I was a little worried about the cows. They were erratic and running across the road in all directions. Even though both pick-ups could have easily picked their way through the small group, they both stopped. The first pick-up to arrive partially closed off the driveway where the cows had come from. A man jumped out and walked behind the group to motivate them towards their home. As they were returning to the property, though not yet the coral, the other pick-up blocked off the remaining portion of the driveway, so the cows could not run back out onto the road. By this time, the first man was knocking on the door of the farmhouse, presumably to let someone know that there was an issue.
I was struck by this scene. The first two vehicles to come upon the cows BOTH stopped. Maybe this is explained by the fact that this is a small town and everybody knows everybody. But there is a lot of random traffic on this road as it leads to other towns. I was thinking about this as I progressed on my run. The men did not look like they knew each other or the farmer, and yet they immediately stopped to help. I was struck by the sense of community that this communicated to me. On any given day I do not particularly love or hate New Franken, but today I thought that I was lucky to be in a place with such a lovely sense of community.
I wrote a blog post on the importance of connection a while back. It was popular at the time and I was considering re-sharing it in this post pandemic era we find ourselves in (are we actually there yet? Maybe I am being a bit optimistic). But the cows gave me a new perspective, a new target. They had just reminded me about the importance of community.
What is community? Is it a bunch of people who know each other and have formed a personal connection? The cows made me think that it was something more than that. Those men did not stop because they knew the farmer, they stopped out a sense of community. They stopped to help an unknown neighbor, because that is what neighbors do. So, while a community is by definition, connected, a personal connection is not all that is required to establish a community. Obviously, it can be an essential starting point. However, shared values are also a foundation for a community and it is those values, perhaps, that help to create the connection that gives us a sense of community. Not that we share all our values, but an essential few that tie us together.
In coaching we often focus on connection and how to establish strong personal connections. And yes, those are important. But just as important is having a sense of community which unites us. Being a part of a community can make us feel as though we are a part of something greater than ourselves. It can give us opportunities to connect with a diverse set of people, who we still have something in common with. Communities support us in our time of need, they help us to reach for our goals, and makes us feel safe and secure. It's important for every person to have a sense of community.
But what if you are like me and you struggle to find that connection to a community? I moved to this small town at the height of the pandemic and networking did not seem like a responsible thing to be engaging in. Reaching out was discouraged. We were responsible and stayed in our family bubble. After an entire year here, I realize that I have nothing to show for myself socially. I am not really an integral part of any community and as a coach I have advised myself to do something about this. While I generally discourage self-coaching, I recognize that it is better than NO coaching, so I had an imaginary conversation with myself. I did some brainstorming, and I came up with a few good places to start to enter into this, or any, community. So, here they are, because maybe they will be useful to others who are trying again to open up and join or re-join a community: houses of worship, child's school community (if you have children), support groups, ongoing skills classes (e.g., your hobby, like knitting, pottery, photography), yoga or dance or exercise studios, advocacy or interest groups (follow your passions!), sports leagues (if your children play sports or sports clubs if you play sports), book clubs….
Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list, but it is a good place to start. So go outside today and volunteer for something you believe in or join the gym…. I know exactly where I will start. And I am inspired by the fact that I currently live in a great community. In a community where strangers will stop immediately to help if someone accidentally lets the cows out.